Lemons, Plums and Pumpkins

As I walked back from the library today on my University's campus, I was struck by just how positively.gosh.darn.gorgeous. autumn can be. Even though the sky was already dark by the time I emerged from that labyrinth of books, there was plenty of light coming from the campus buildings which allowed me to see the lemon yellow, plum red, and pumpkin orange leaves which hovered over my head. It was as if their luminescence was serving as some sort of beacon for my offspring-yearning-soul. As I continued walked down the cobblestone path, (seriously, this isn't a Hawthorne novel...it really was a cobblestone path,) I saw a huge pile of the lemon yellow, plum red, and pumpkin orange leaves - and I knew they were just waiting to be jumped into.

So, I did a quick little look around me to assess who (or what) might be near. But all signs were, "Go." I did a quick little girly jump, and into the pile of leaves I went.

Three things that are different when you jump into a pile of leaves as an adult:

1) "OWIE!" WTF?! I never remember leaves hurting when I was younger.
2) Leaves smell. Um, bad. A pile of molding leaves, probably isn't the most fragrant way to spend your time.
3) As an adult, you have to work hard to keep the "What if?" thoughts from overtaking you when you're in a pile of dark leaves: "What if there's a snake in this pile? What if there's a Brown Recluse? Do they have Brown Recluse in this part of the country? What if these leaves were positioned here to hide a dead body? YUCK. Why are you thinking about hiding dead bodies? Enough!"

But the really sad part for me, is how much I wanted to jump into that pile of leaves with a kid. Any kid would do, really. I've often thought about why there are not services for just these types of occasions. You know, occasions where it would just be infinitely better if you had a child accompanying you. Like, animated movies, ice cream shops, parks, and of course, jumping in large piles of leaves. The service would be mutually beneficial: Parents need a babysitter for an hour while they run errands? Great! I need a 5 to 16-year-old to accompany me while I jump in enormous piles of leaves. This service would build up the sense of community, you know. Gives the child another adult mentor that they can look up to (can a kid have too many mentors?! I think not!) And the child gets exercise jumping in and out of all those leaves too! The parents have their time for errands. And I have an hour of hanging out with a kid and not looking so stupid jumping into piles of leaves by myself. Sounds straight forward enough, right?

Of course not. Have you turned on the television these days. Fear this. Fear that. The media wants us to think that everyone and their mother is some sort of pedophile. You offer to babysit for, "Free?" And well, let's just say those neighbors won't be so quick to say, "Hello." next time they see you walking your dog. I don't speak from personal experience here, I'm just sayin'.

Ah, but I digress. Do you have any idea how much fun it is to do things like jumping in leaves with children?! Can you remember what it's like to run into a pile of leaves with pure unadulterated abandon?

AWWWWWWH. ::deep sigh::

However, half-empty I feel in my childless state, at least I can still appreciate those brilliant colors of autumn. Visions of lemon yellow, plum red, and pumpkin orange will undoubtedly dance in my dreams tonight.