The next morning (Friday) I took off from work and called my doctor first thing, they ran my BETA and Progesterone and I got the results back the next day.
The BETA was somewhat low for being in the 5 weeks pregnant but it was within the normal "range" and Progesterone was good. I was pregnant!
Driving home from work I felt good. I felt happy. I felt like each breath had a fucking purpose.
However, I knew that things could go wrong, so I wondered outloud whether I should "commit" to this baby. Should I think of it as a baby? Or should I not let myself get attached?
I decided, that like most things in life "Tis better to have loved and lost, Than never to have loved at all."
When I got home, I told my husband, and he smiled.
That man, I swear - he is the reincarnation of everything good and pleasant in the world.
I then told him that the baby and I listened to music driving home. We ate Mexican food for dinner (yummy!) and then my husband went out with some friends.
This was a welcomed rest night for me as my very demanding job leaves my completely drained on Friday night's.
All I want to do is nothing. However, I did slightly more than nothing that night and rented a movie, got comfy on the couch around our cuddly puppies (they're dogs really - 11 years old and 2 1/2, but I still call them puppies)
...and me and the baby, well we just hung out together.
I think I will always remember that night on the sofa being happy and content and pregnant.
The next day was great too. Josh and I talked and connected like we haven't in a while. We went out to a park.
The day was absolutely beautiful - soul clearing.
We talked about some hopes and dreams, and about our baby who would be due the beginning of January. We talked about the possibility of a Christmas baby.
We were happy.
Commitment:
1
a : an agreement or pledge to do something in the future 
