My roommate's battle with cancer is going...Well, it is still going. So, I guess that is a plus.
She is moving in with her family next week (more support, less rent). However, we are still struggling to find a person to take over her lease. I wish I could pay her portion for her, but unfortunately I am not made of money. :(
It has been hard since I returned home?... I feel so helpless and alone. The harsh face of cancer is something I can not quite put into words.
She is trying desperately to keep her hair while undergoing chemo treatments. But it keeps falling out. All over the bathroom floor. All over the the couch. When I saw her for the first time in five weeks, she asked me for my honest assessment of how her hair and face looked. I usually am a blunt little ass who tells it like it is, and this time was no exception...I told her she looked beautiful. Who wouldn't love a face swollen from steroids, and thinning hair on a 30-something woman. Now that is true beauty!
Tonight she made some delicious, DELICIOUS soup. Unfortunately, her hair found it's way into that as well. I tried hard to eat it without her noticing as I delicately fished strands out of my bowl with my spoon. In an attempt to disguise my efforts, I told her I wasn't a big fan of scallions. I am sure she didn't notice, but I felt bad anyway. I kept yelling inside my head,
"Just eat it. Eat it. It's not going to hurt you. Cancer is worse than hair in your soup.
You big. immature. spoiled. baby. Eat it."
You big. immature. spoiled. baby. Eat it."
God, that must be terrible. I mean everyone knows about the pain of chemo, and facing your own mortality and all that but seeing my hair all over the place, more and more every morning ? As a woman - that would go a long way to breaking my heart.
ReplyDeleteYes it does. This is her third round of chemo and she's fighting so hard to hang onto her hair. She actually stayed home from work today just because she was so upset after the realization that she's just going to have to shave it off again.
ReplyDeleteIt's positively miserable.