True Gentle Soul

My house is downright depressing these days.

My roommate moved out on Sunday. With her went most of the furniture, cleaning supplies, and houseplants.

And while I thought it was the absence of all of this material "stuff" that was dragging me down, I realized this morning that with her also went a vibrancy and zeal for life that few people on earth exhibit.

And that, is a toughie to replace.

She always had a welcoming vibe about her. Always the essence of serenity. Cool. Calm. Despite the chemo and the mounds of hair in the bathroom which had not only covered the floor, but also clogged the drains in both the shower and sink...

My roommate was a true gentle soul.

I realize I am talking about her in past tense, as if she were dead. And she is not dead. She is very much alive. However, I doubt I will see much of her in the months and years ahead.

The last couple months I had a fly on the wall's perspective of how living with cancer takes things you once thought were important and shakes them up like an etch a sketch toy.


When the doctor told her that the cancer had spread to her lungs and pelvis, I watched her exchange time spent with "close" friends for time spent with her family. She used to party-it-up at clubs on Saturday night's, but even before the chemo started again she exchanged clubbing for snuggling up on the couch with her 5-year-old niece. She often sipped tea or hot chocolate and gazed off thinking.




Patty always "knew" that she wanted to be a mom too. We bonded over that shared interest early on. However, with no partner and no reproductive organs, this prospect made it slightly more difficult that she had envisioned when she was younger. Ever since I moved in, I attempted to empower her to compile a game plan so that when she was ready, she would know exactly which direction she should jump. Not long after I first moved in, she told me how thankful she was that I was encouraging her to look into adoption.

She told me she can't wait to meet her own child one day.

I too, would love to meet her lovely daughter or son one day.

So, here's to Patty and Hope.

Here's to whatever the future may hold for us all.